History of the Future: Part 3

I bet you thought that I forgot about the third part of my promised three-part blog post about random future events. Well I didn’t forget I just hadn’t gotten to it yet because here it is. Would you believe that this whole post is actually a Sociology paper that I turned in for a college assignment and that I got an A on it? Well I it is and I did.

Now for you enjoyment, The conclusion to a History of the Future:

In the year 2043 people will begin to get rid of their cell phones because they can control so much that losing it is pretty much the end of the world.  Identity theft increases one hundred percent because it is so easy, just steal a cell phone and boom you have access to their car, their house and their bank account.  Why aren’t people protecting this information you ask well the answer is because people are lazy, careless and stupid.  They tried voice recognition but too many people figured out how to over ride that while at the same time the system was so faulty that the phone wouldn’t always listen to its owner.

More emerging technologies that have a darker side to them all have to do with things that go in your body.  First, super contacts that let you look at movies and surf the web while pretending to pay attention in class, were found to cause blindness and had to be scraped.

The micro chips that are supposed to be so great, so no one will ever be given the wrong medication or go missing, will be found to have a weird reaction with some people and will end up giving them a very strange blood disorder (their blood turned green) and the program was suspended until doctors could investigate the implications of this phenomenon.  The program will remain suspended until the antichrist decides to use it as his “mark of the beast.”

As the oceans begin receding in the year 2049, everyone will begin worrying about global cooling and foretelling a new global ice age.  Even though we all know that the first ice age wasn’t really a global ice age, but only a localized one.  One scientist though, will discover that this melting and freezing of the ice caps is all actually part of a cycle that runs through about every ten hundred years or so.

Unfortunately for everyone, a radical terrorist group has acquired a very powerful EMP bomb and has launched it into space, when it reaches the Stratosphere they plan to detonate it thus wiping out every electronic device on the planet.  This will set everyone back for at a period no shorter than ten years.  Living history re-enactors such as pioneer groups and revolutionary war enthusiasts will lead the way in survival during the period of rebuilding that will follow.  At the end of that ten-year period they are still only up to about 1985 standards which is pretty good for only having ten years to rebuild the world.  Of course they weren’t exactly starting from scratch.

The future is not set in stone and this is only one of the many possible futures; the flow of events could be diverted at any point along the path to create a new series of events and then those events may be diverted to create a new series and so on.

Perhaps instead of America and Canada uniting, they stay separate or maybe Mexico will try to be declared officially part of South America rather than North.  And the last part about the EMP bomb will probably not happen because someone like James bond would come along to stop it.  But it’s still all speculation.

There is no way to really know what the future holds, no crystal balls, no horoscope, no fortune tellers, the only way to know what will happen is to just wait for it.

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History of the Future: Part One

As promised a three-part post. These are my random predictions for the future. You can write these off as humorous and misguided musings but only time will tell.

And now I present for your enjoyment a history of the future:

In the year 2024 all newspapers had to stop producing paper copies due to pressure from environmental groups as well as a dwindling number of subscribers, so now they can save the planet and their money.  The e-newspaper, now humorously dubbed the News, Sans Paper, still requires a subscription and is then delivered straight to your inbox every day or for just $1.80 an issue you may buy a single copy to download off of the website as a PDF file, sales papers are not included.  No reporter has yet tackled the question of why the price jumped after they got rid of the paper.

Other changes to the media include the new restrictions on how much can be reported during elections.  Thanks to the news outlets using exit polls to announce the winner of the 2016 presidential election a full three hours before polls on the west coast closed, (the first thing that Hawaiians saw when they turned on their TV’s was news casters telling them who the new president was; no one in Hawaii even bothered voting that year) they are now forbidden to report any results in a nationwide election until the day after.

In education news, the public school system has been dumbed down so much that by the year 2028 the only children who can get in to colleges are homeschoolers.  But because of the low attendance the tuition prices became too high for anyone to afford.  Universities were forced to dumb themselves down in order to stay in business.  The government actually tried to outlaw homeschooling for a while but there was no way to stop the movement without taking away all civil rights.  Besides everyone knew that the only reason they were against it was because homeschoolers have consistently done better than public schoolers in all subjects and grades.

On the religion beat, scientists discover heaven?  Year 2030: Scientists working on a project to tel-port matter from New York to L.A. were suddenly overwhelmed by what they called, “a feeling of the most intense joy that a human being could ever hope experience on earth.”  The feeling of joy left as suddenly as it had appeared.  One of the researchers also reported hearing a voice that told him, “It is not yet time; this is not the door that you are meant to enter by.”  The lead researcher is hypothesizing that they may have momentarily breached another dimension of some sort.  As a result of this story conversions to Christianity will skyrocket.