History of the Future: Part One

As promised a three-part post. These are my random predictions for the future. You can write these off as humorous and misguided musings but only time will tell.

And now I present for your enjoyment a history of the future:

In the year 2024 all newspapers had to stop producing paper copies due to pressure from environmental groups as well as a dwindling number of subscribers, so now they can save the planet and their money.  The e-newspaper, now humorously dubbed the News, Sans Paper, still requires a subscription and is then delivered straight to your inbox every day or for just $1.80 an issue you may buy a single copy to download off of the website as a PDF file, sales papers are not included.  No reporter has yet tackled the question of why the price jumped after they got rid of the paper.

Other changes to the media include the new restrictions on how much can be reported during elections.  Thanks to the news outlets using exit polls to announce the winner of the 2016 presidential election a full three hours before polls on the west coast closed, (the first thing that Hawaiians saw when they turned on their TV’s was news casters telling them who the new president was; no one in Hawaii even bothered voting that year) they are now forbidden to report any results in a nationwide election until the day after.

In education news, the public school system has been dumbed down so much that by the year 2028 the only children who can get in to colleges are homeschoolers.  But because of the low attendance the tuition prices became too high for anyone to afford.  Universities were forced to dumb themselves down in order to stay in business.  The government actually tried to outlaw homeschooling for a while but there was no way to stop the movement without taking away all civil rights.  Besides everyone knew that the only reason they were against it was because homeschoolers have consistently done better than public schoolers in all subjects and grades.

On the religion beat, scientists discover heaven?  Year 2030: Scientists working on a project to tel-port matter from New York to L.A. were suddenly overwhelmed by what they called, “a feeling of the most intense joy that a human being could ever hope experience on earth.”  The feeling of joy left as suddenly as it had appeared.  One of the researchers also reported hearing a voice that told him, “It is not yet time; this is not the door that you are meant to enter by.”  The lead researcher is hypothesizing that they may have momentarily breached another dimension of some sort.  As a result of this story conversions to Christianity will skyrocket.

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